Sunday, March 22, 2009

Grief. Pain. Letting Go.

"I can't stay on your life support, there's a shortage on the switch...I think I'll get out of here... where I can run, just as fast as I can, to the middle of nowhere...to the middle of my frustrated fears...and I swear, you're just like a pill, instead of making me better you're making me ill" -Pink

I'm at some sort of impasse I think. I'm down 27 lbs now, and I feel AMAZING. My clothes are too big, and I'm fitting into most of my 'skinny' clothes. But I'm still battling my old best friend, FOOD.

Thankfully with my tool I cannot eat like I used to, and hell I haven't really wanted to. But I'm still adjusting/struggling with emotionally letting go of my fears. It's such bullshit too. Why the hell am I so scared to be healthy, skinny?

I keep thinking of things in my past and I worry. I worry that deep down I'll fail at this and that 'he' will be right.

Who is this 'he' I write of? It's a horrible, evil man that unfortunately was part of my life after my father passed away. 'He' was in my life for about 5 years and because of his abuse, caused me some severe emotional scars. Truth be told 'he' died a horrible, painful battle with Cancer about 3 years ago and I was at peace. He's the only person I've known that has had that horrible disease and I honestly was glad he suffered. Hell I've even lost close family members to cancer, but I truly believe in Karma, and he certainly deserved some pain.

But every time I start to feel good I get this itch, this little fucking 'leach' on my foot that reminds me of the fact that I'm still fat and I still have a hell of a long ways to go. And I'm TIRED of that leach. So I figured I should write about this, to help get some of it out.

Now, I've been to therapy off and on since I was 10 and I know when I need to talk to someone, and right now I am thinking that I just need to write out how I'm feeling. It's definitely helped me before, and my past therapy sessions did engrave in me that writing is good for my soul.

I need to just let go of this, once and for all. I need to not let his ghost, or 'him' haunt me anymore. I'm already much more successful than 'he' every SAID I would be, and that's half the damn battle. Now I just need to get my head in check with my heart.

My head knows I'm doing amazing and that I'm on a wonderful journey. But I still have fear in my heart. And I'm working every single day on conquering that. I don't want to be scared to be healthy and actually enjoy LIVING LIFE, as opposed to merely observing it. Hell, I think deep down I'm just scared of some of the changes that are coming...

Change is inevitable, and I need to learn to be comfortable with the changes in store for my body, mind, heart and soul.

Ciao!

<3- Mags

Monday, March 16, 2009

A Menagerie Of Thoughts

I am so psyched! I am down 27 lbs now!

I am almost down to my College Graduation weight. I haven't been there in 4 years, and I never thought I'd get there again. It took me 4 years to gain 50 lbs, but only 2 months to lose a little more than half of it!

So I've started a fabulous routine of exercising. I'm doing three 40 minute sessions a week. And I feel great!

For now I'm doing 25 minutes on the bike and then 15 on the treadmill. Today I rode 5.5 miles and walked .5 miles.

I think this whole journey is working for me because for the first time since I can remember I'm NOT dieting. I'm eating smaller, healthier meals, but I'm not feeling deprived. If I have a potato at dinner I don't freak because it has carbs. I truly believe that everything in moderation is OK.

Tony comes and works out with me, and I find his support to be amazing. I wasn't sure how our relationship would be affected post op, but he's pleasantly surprised me. I couldn't of asked for a better cheerleader, a better partner to help me through this. He's seen me at my worst, and no matter what always believes in me.

That brings me to my next cheerleader: My sister. I can't even describe how amazing she is! She hasn't ever had a weight problem, but she's never made me feel inferior or less worthy because of mine. We truly do have a special bond, and she is my best friend. She's the first person to kick my ass if I'm lying or not doing the best I can, and she's also the first person to back me up when needed. I'm very blessed to have her in my life.

I have so many cool things coming up. The first is the Britney Spears Concert in Kansas City. I cannot WAIT to go with Linds. I have a huge addiction to bad pop music, and I love Britney.

Then, the day after the concert my good friend Sarah and I are flying to New Jersey to see our girl Brandy. I LOVE going to visit her; she's such a sweet, genuine person. And she makes killer cup cakes :) But, the best part of my trip is going to be that for the first time in my adult life, I will not have to worry about fitting in the plane seat. This brings tears to my eyes. I have always wanted to actually enjoy travelling without worrying about the damn seat belt. And now, I am.

So I'm just going to keep on keepin' on and enjoying this journey. This band is the tool I've prayed and dreamed for. It doesn't magically cure anything, but dammit it has made me a helluva lot more self aware of what I'm eating!

Ciao ;)

<3- Mags

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Hello

So I've copied and pasted all of my Myspace blogs below. For some stupid reason I can't 'post' date them, but they are in order from bottom to top.

The most current one, 'My Reflection' I wrote on February 23rd.

Thank you for visiting and enjoy my random ranting.

Ciao!

<3- Mags

My Reflection...

I've got to stop being so damn hard on myself.

I know that this band, my new 'tool' takes time. But now I'm wanting the weight to just keep 'melting' away like it did the first 3 weeks.

Right now I'm at a stalled point in my weight loss. And I know it's because I'm still healing, and I know it's because I haven't had a band 'fill' yet. But I'm fighting getting sad. Why?

I think it's because I know other people, girls my age, who had Gastric Bypass, and they are losing weight like crazy. I could've had GB too, but for a MULTITUDE of reasons I am not a fan of it. The band, to me, is a safer, more 'natural' way to go. You don't lose weight as fast, and you have a better chance at succeeding because you do have to put work into it. You have to exercise, and watch what you eat. With GB there's things you CANNOT ever eat again. To me it's alot more risky, even though you lose weight faster.

I think I'm just jealous or something. I'm feeling great, and people have started to notice my 22 lb weight loss. I just need to be HAPPY with my progress. I know my doctor will be.

I get my first band 'fill' on Wednesday, and I know it'll provide me with more restriction. Which is something I definitely need. I'm able to eat about 1 1/2 cups of food right now, when I should only be eating 1/2 to 1 cup max (per meal).

Grr! I just need to stop being so damn impatient. LOL But I am an avid chaser of 'instant gratification'.

Just take a couple of breaths Mag, you will be there before you know it. 22 lbs down, just 108 left to go.

I CAN DO THIS!!!

Ciao!

<3- Mags

Ponderings

So as I sit here I had somewhat of an epiphany.

Come August, I will be approximately 90 lbs lighter from my date of surgery. And there's TONS of things I'm thinking of! As of now, here's my 'top' 3:

1) I will be able to buy some 'regular' size clothes, and not just plus-sized ones. I've already looked at some cute dresses from Old Navy and Target.

2) When we fly to Miami for our amazing weekend, I will NOT be nervous about fitting into the plane, nor securing my seatbelt. This will be the first time that has ever happened in my adult life.

3) While in Miami I'll actually be able to have FUN and not 'worry' about when, what, and where we're going to eat. Food no longer RULES my life. I do.

These are just a few thoughts going through my brain. And if I keep up my 10 lbs per month I'll reach my 90 lb goal by August. Which means then I'll only be 40 lbs from my yearly goal of 130! I can't wait.

So here's to 20 down and only 110 more to go!
Ciao!

<3- Mags

My First 'WOW' Moment.

So today I went Bridesmaid dress shopping with my friend Keyla for her wedding. The other gals were there too. We went to David's Bridal here in town. And for the first time, I wasn't nervous about trying on dresses.

Since January 4th I've lost 20 lbs. And I am so freaking STOKED. I'm constantly smiling, and I'm feeling so much healthier. It's amazing just having that little amount of weight off. And I'm on a good track to my goal of losing 130 total.

Anywho, back to the dresses... I was able to fit into all but ONE of the 'sample' sizes at David's. And it wasn't the largest sample size in all of the dresses. This is the first time in my entire life that has actually happend. I've never been able to go try on dresses with the rest of the wedding party and have them actually zip up and look nice! I was so happy I wanted to cry. And the best part is that I got to order my dress is 3 sizes smaller than what I tried on. And if it's too big, I can swap it out! (Keyla's wedding isn't until October, so I'm hoping to be 80 lbs lighter by then, so who knows what size I'll actually be wearing).

I feel like I'm on cloud 9, I never thought could be this happy. This weather is helping too Now I can't wait for spring!

I hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend.

<3- Mags

Emotional Recovery...

So I had fully prepped myself for my physical recovery from my surgery, but I realized tonight I didn't prep myself for the emotional part.

I mean, I'm definitely conquering my 'head hunger' and I'm definitely eating less, but for some reason I hadn't really connected with what my progress means, and will mean to me in the future.

This all sprung up on me as I finished watching tonight's episode of 'House'. I LOVE this show, and the ending tonight just made me think of my father.

So again I think of how proud he would be of me (or at least I hope he is)!! He himself struggled with his weight his entire youth and adult life. And the fact that I've chosen to take care of myself, and put myself first for once is HUGE. And I realized just then, just how much I miss him.

This June he will have been gone for 19 years. Yet, it seems like yesterday. He's been gone for so many huge milestones and accomplishments that I , as well as my sister have achieved. I know he was there in spirit, but I'd give everything just to see him once more. Alas, that won't happen in this lifetime.

So now I'm going to do my best and work through this Tsunami of emotions that has just taken over. It's made me all the more determined to succeed with my weightloss. I want to live a longer, healthier life. Not just for me, but for my father as well. That's what he'd want for me and my family.

On the upside, I'm now down 17lbs (since January 4th)!!! I am so happy with this. It's amazing how much more energy I have just being down this little amount of weight. Now I just have 113 lbs more to go...

I've started eating more 'real' food now. And I'm taking that day by day. Some things I've learned I probably won't be able to eat anymore, or at least not very often. And that is A-ok with me! Because these foods that I can't eat very easily are some of my 'bad' foods. As long as I keep eating healthier and now that I'm almost physically healed; I'll be able to keep losing 1 to 2 lbs a week. I just need to seriously up my exercising .

I hope everyone is doing well, and thanks for everyone's well wishes, prayers and emails as I approached and recovered from surgery. I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends!

Ciao!

<3- Mags

The First 48

Well here I am, technically on my first 72 hours post op, and I'm feeling amazing!Yes, I did steal this title from the A&E show, but who cares. It's very appropriate for how I'm feeling.

The first 48 hours of recovery have been so smooth for me. And, had I known how smooth, I probably would've had this surgery years ago. The pain is completely bearable, and it's not as bad as I had 'imagined'. Hell, I'm even off my painkillers, except for at night. They help me get to sleep. Which is great! I'm managing my pain each day and I'm following my Doctors orders to the letter.

I cannot believe how great I feel. I am so thankful that I'm doing well. Overall I'm not able to eat much (duh, the whole goal of my surgery), but I haven't been hungry in between meals either. Which is a first for me!

I guess I don't really have much else to say, other than I'm truly happy and very blessed. I can't wait to be fully recovered so I can go work out and continue this amazing journey!

<3- Mags

Second Chance Maggie...

So my surgery was at 8 am, I was in the recovery room by 9:30, and the doctor let me go home at noon!

All in all I'd say it went very smoothly. I actually feel very good, minus some tummy soreness But I don't have any gas pains (yet), and I'm hoping it stays that way! Thank God I do have some amazing liquid painkillers too.

Overall I'd say I'm an execeptional recovery story, well at least compared to the stories I've heard from others who've had this, or a similar surgery. And I'm NOT complaining one bit! I feel very blessed that my recovery is going so well for me. But again this is just day one...tomorrow may be another story. Hehe

I just wanted to post a quick update for you all. And just share that I am SO happy and thrilled that I did this for ME. It's my 'second' chance to myself. Now begins my new life of taking better, healthier care of myself.

I will post progress pics and I'll definitely continue to blog throughout my post op journey. And if anyone has questions or anything feel free to email or call me.

I want to say thanks again for everyone's positivity and support. I could not, would not, have made it through this without it. I am so lucky to have such amazing family and friends!!!

So again, THANK YOU!!!

<3- Mags

'Twas The Night Before...

'Twas the night before Maggie's surgery, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!!! Hehe

I'm oddly calm tonight. I thought I'd be super anxious or nervous, but I'm not. I feel at such peace. I think it's because I know that tomorrow, for the first time in my adult life, I'm putting ME first. With all my planning and waiting for tomorrow to come, I've realized quite a bit about my life lately.

The first, and most amazing thing is that EVERY goal I've set for myself (life goal) in the past 5 years, I've accomplished. And once I've set the goal and started working towards it, everything else just seemed to fall into place. Now I'm not saying it was an 'easy' road, but it was very worthwhile once I made a decision. Once I set the goal, I gave myself and inner 'clock' and timetable to achieve that goal. Surprisingly, I've met both of them thus far.

See, I'm a keen believe in the power of '3'. Why? I have no clue, but it's always been my favorite number, and I've always believed that everything happens in '3s'.

So now on to my first two goals I've set and achieved:

The first goal is graduating College. I was kicked out and Reinstated immediately (which was a miracle in itself!!), and once I was, I promised myself then and there I'd finish up in less than 3 years and that I'd get my degree. I achieved both.

The second major goal was paying off my stupid, STUPID College credit card debt, and then buying myself a new car. Again, I gave myself 3 years to do so. And I did.

Lastly (as if you didn't know by now), my third and ultimate goal is to get fit!

This brings me to my surgery tomorrow. To achieve this goal, I need a tool to help me. It's not going to make my 'head hunger' stop, nor will it magically 'cure' my food addiction. What it will do, if I use it properly, is make me eat less and choose better foods. See once you get on the 'bandwagon' there's certain things that may be difficult, if not impossible to eat. Now I know what these foods are, and I've mourned them. I will try to eat these foods when I'm allowed solid foods, and if I can eat them, great. I'll eat them in MODERATION. If I can't, then I will get over it!

January 14, 2009 I'm considering a 'rebirth' of sorts. It's going to be the birth of a new healthier, happier Maggie. And I'm giving myself 3 years to get to my goal/happy weight. I'm not sure what that may be, but that's half the fun of it. I know the doctor wants me to lose at least 110lbs, and anything over that is MY goal.

So I'm going to just go with the flow, and once I get to my doctors goal, then I'll set MY goal (I'm thinking now it's 170, but who knows). If I'm happy and healthy at 190 I may stay there!!

To all my friends and family who've given me so much positivity and support in these past few months, THANK YOU. I love you all so, so much. And you have no idea how amazing your support and love is. Without it I would not be who I am today. Once I'm walking around and not completely stoned off pain meds I'll get on here and blog about my post op experience.

Until then ciao!!!xoxo

<3- Mags

I Cheated...

So I'm on day 4 of my pre-op diet and I've cheated. I'm mad at myself but I'm going to get over it.

I actually didn't cheat 'badly'. I had 2 cups of lettuce with 2 tablespoons of lowfat dressing and a roasted chicken breast. All healthy, but not on my 'diet' nonetheless.

Tomorrow I'll start fresh and damnit I'm going to stick to this diet until surgery day, even if I go batty doing so! Thank God I can have lots of fruit and Crystal Light

Ooh and not to forget Chicken Tortilla Soup (as long as it's broth based).

I've just gotta keep trucking, I'm halfway through hell week

-Mags

Losing My Best Friend.

"I can't waste time, so I give it a moment, I realize that nothings broken...don't need to worry about everything I've done, live every second like it was my last one...don't look back got a new direction...I loved you once, needed protection" -Tattoo, by Jordin Sparks

Yes, this is a cheesy pop song, but I LOVE the lyrics. And they completely apply to how I'm feeling today. See, today I'm starting to lose my best friend of 20+ years. No, it isn't Amber, my sister, or my Mom. It's FOOD.

As I sit here and start my 10 day pre-op diet, I have to wonder: HOW did I let my addiction get this far? HOW did I let myself, a smart, capable, educated woman become dependant on food?

Well I wish it was as simple as answering these questions, but it isn't. The journey from now and post surgery will be a long one. But it will be the most worthwhile thing I've ever done for myself. Do I have fears? Of course. Is there anything I can do to ease them? Yes.

Well I'll start with my two 'how' questions. I let my addiction get this far by simply ignoring and burying it. Any time I was upset or happy I turned to food. Hell I even did that last night for my 'last supper'. But it was different. I wasn't trying to stuff my face with as much stuff as possible, I was enjoying saying goodbye to an old 'friend', toxic as they have been.

The funny thing is food, as a whole, isn't bad for us. But it's bad when we constantly choose the wrong foods and when we constantly eat in excess. So what was I missing that made me rely on food as my best friend? I'm not sure, it's going to take time for me to figure that one out. But, starting today I'm going to be my best friend. Corny maybe, but its the truth. 2009 is going to be all about me getting to know myself, all over again.

So let's go on to my fears. My BIGGEST fear is losing those I love dearest. Yes, I will change, but I honestly believe that the 'inner me' will stay the same. The frame is just changing folks, not the picture! But I know that with my success (and whatever failures I may stumble into); I may lose people that are currently in my life. I may have friendships damaged. I pray to God that will not happen, but the truth is that I am changing, and if not everyone can accept that, I'll have to move on. Just like I am with my best friend. It's a huge epiphany when you realize that someone or something is toxic for you. And it's so liberating to finally say NO. Enough is enough. I don't think it's selfish for anyone to want to better themselves. We are constantly changing and growing...if we weren't life would be so boring!

So how can I ease my fears? By simply talking to those closest and dearest to me. I want them to ask me questions, give me their input on my changes. Some I may take with a grain of salt, some I may take more seriously. Those closest me have helped me grow and have helped me get here. They are the reason I've decided to start taking better care of myself. I hope they understand that. If I don't conquer this addiction now, I'll be dead by the time I'm 50. And that is something I don't want to happen. And if this will help that from happening, I'm going for it 110%.

So one way I'm going to break off my 'relationship' with food is by blogging on here more. And I have plans for my blogs, but I'm not going to reveal those just yet In the coming weeks and months you may see me blogging more often, but hopefully as my 'craving' weakens, my need for blogging often will too! I don't want to replace one addiction with another.
I'll end my blog with another set of song lyrics that I love:

"Change her mind and change her world...I ain't settlin for just getting by, I've had enough so-so for the rest of my life...tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high, just not giving up this time...I ain't settlin for anything less than everything!" - Settlin, by Sugarland

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

-Mags

It's Real Now

***I want to preface this entry by saying a HUGE Thank You to my stepfather, Jack. He's the one who paid for my surgery up front. I have to make monthly payments to him, but without his generosity and kindness I would not have been able to have my surgery so quickly. I love you Jack!!***

"Don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart..." I firmly believe in wishing. I wish for my surgery go to smoothly, I wish to succeed and finally let the world see how beautiful I am on the outside too.

I'm sick and tired of the 'you have such a pretty face' comments. It's bullshit. So my face is pretty, but what about the rest of me?!?!

Anywho, my surgery is rapidly approaching, and I couldn't be more excited!So today I dropped off my whopping payments to Tallgrass for my surgery, which is OFFICIALLY two weeks away!!!

Paying for the surgery has made it all so real now. Not that it wasn't before, but actually writing out the checks has physically shown me it's going to happen. I think the fact that I am paying for this, rather than my insurance, is only going to help me succeed even more!

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I wish all of you happy , healthy and successful 2009. Lord knows it's going to be one hell of a year for me!!

Love,Mags

The Date Is Set...

So I received my confirmation letter from Dr. Bernsten's office today. My pre-op appointment is January 5th and my surgery is going to be Wednesday January 14th. That day can't come soon enough! 10 days before surgery I'll be on an all liquid diet. Woo hoo. Not fun...but it will be okay. Hell if I don't go crazy doing that I'll do AMAZING afterwords

The doctor says she wants me to lose at least 110 lbs. I want to lose more honestly, but if I do the 110 I'll be well under 200, which will be a HUGE milestone for me. Ideally I'd like to be around 170. I know I can do it, and just knowing that and believing that is half the battle for me. It's kind of odd to realize that a year from January I won't recognize myself. But it's odd in a good way. I've been the fat, nice, 'funny' girl for too damn long. It's time for Maggie to be HOT, nice, 'funny' girl!!!

If I had enough leave time saved up at work I could've had the surgery this month, but I didn't. And I'm a HUGE believer in 'everything happens for a reason', so I'm thinking this is so I can enjoy one last Thanksgiving and Christmas like 'normal'. Which means I'll eat and drink waay too much. So I will enjoy it!

Once I have my surgery I'll be setting up a new photo album of my progress, so those of you that want to can see how I'm doing.

I must admit I cannot WAIT to reach my goal weight and go shopping in 'normal' stores!!!
Look out BeBe, Victoria's Secret, Old Navy and Banana Republic! Here I come!!!

My Surgery.

Well the day's finally here! I had my consultation with my doctor and the Lap-Band surgery is tentatively scheduled for January 14th or 15th. My doctor is going to call me in a week to confirm which date. The surgery will take place at Tallgrass here in Topeka, and Dr. Bernita Bernsten will be my surgeon. It's an outpatient procedure, so I should be home around 6 pm that night, the surgery will take place at 8 am. I can't wait, it's going to be an amazing journey from then on out!

I am so excited, not just because I will finally lose (and keep off) some weight, but more so I will be HEALTHY. And that is my numero uno reason for doing this surgery. I realized not to long ago that my 35th Birthday is rapidly approaching. Ok well it's 8 years away, but that seems super close to me.

Why is this significant? It's significant because my father was 35 when he died. True his health was not the reason for his death, but trust me, realizing you will out live one of your parents is very odd. They are supposed to die when you're older and they are in their golden oldie years. They aren't supposed to die young. 35 was too young for my dad to go.

So I started thinking about my father and his hopes and wishes for me and my family. And I know he'd want me to out live his young 35 year age by at least 30 years, if not more. And I know in my heart, if I don't get control of my obesity, if I don't get healthy, I will NOT make it to 65 or older. And that scared the hell out of me.

Again, I want to reinterate this surgery is no magic 'cure' or anything. The hard work lies within me. It will simply be a tool to help me feel fuller, longer. Which lets face it, I desperately need. I'm tired of eating healthy lunches and then being starving two hours later. That is not normal. This lap band will simply help me stay full for longer, thus resulting in me eating less and hopefully losing weight. The key for me is to eat healthy and exercise throughout this entire journey.

I hope if anyone has questions or concerns to please let me know. Or please visit www.realizeband.com. It's the site for the band system I'm going to use. And it's amazing! It goes through the procdure, support, everything.

So up until January I will enjoy the holidays and some 'bad' meals. We're planning a 'last supper' at this amazing Brazilian Steakhouse in Kansas City, if anyone wants to join us please let me know. It will probably be the first weekend in January.

I'm looking forward to starting 2009 with a newer, healthier Maggie!

Simply Mags

I'll start by saying this is the most honest and blunt blog I've ever written. Please know I've been going through alot these past 6 months, and I've grown and changed. And it's made me realize some things and confront things I've never confronted before. It's made me a bloody emotional rollercoaster, but I know it's all worth it. In the end I will be a better ME.

I've made a very tough but very thought out decision. Those close to me already know, but there are those of you in cyber land that I hardly see, but I wanted to include in my life. Even though we hardly speak, please know that I love you all and you have ALL helped make me the person I am today. And I hope anyone who reads this knows that when I say thank you, I TRULY mean that.

I have decided to have the Realize Lap-Band surgery. How have I come to this decision? Is this a last resort? How will my relationships change with those I love?

I've been asking myself these things for the past 2 weeks. And you know what? I'm not going to worry about things I cannot control anymore. Now I'm going to worry and focus on things that are in my control (ie: weight).

Some of you that know me will think I'm taking the 'easy' way out, some of you will applaud my decision. Either way, I must keep telling myself this is MY decision and bottom line, everyone will have a thought or opinion on it.

How did I come to this you may ask? I've been dieting since I was 13. I've done Weight Watchers, Atkins, Diet pills (including Phen-Fen)' you name it. And every time I do have some success, but as soon as I go off whatever diet I may be on I gain that weight back, and sometimes more. And to be frank, I'm f-ing TIRED of it. So, I wanted to do some research, and educate myself on a tool that may truly help me. And I've found it!

Sure, I have fears about this surgery. But my fears of continuing down my unhealthy, obese road VASTLY outweigh the 'risks' of me having this surgery. I am absolutely terrified of dying young. I'm even more terrified of having a child and leaving them without a parent. I'm tired of having sleep apnea and high blood pressure. The thing is, I'm TIRED of being unhealthy.

This surgery is by no means a 'cure' or an easy way 'out' for me. I will have to do alot of dietary changes, as well as do more exercise. This surgery will simply give me a tool to help feel more full and more satisfied. And the best part? I will have an amazing group of support from my family, friends and the doctors that I'm going to work with.

So how have I 'chosen' the Realize Lap-Band? It's quite simple really. They have an amazing 3 year support system for those who have the surgery. And that is something I need. Yes, my friends and family are going to be there, but this will give me medical tools and access to my dietician and doctors whenever I need. That will be a key ingredient in my weight loss.

I can't have the surgery until after the first of the year, and I'm shooting for a January 17th date, that way I can recoup over the 'long' holiday weekend.

For those that would like 'updates' on this journey please let me know. I'll be happy to regularly post blogs as I continue this.

So to end this blog, I'll conclude with my new 'motto':
'Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game...'

It's time for Maggie to make her OWN rules

Hello

I've finally joined the blogging world.

Please visit weekly as I chronicle my weight loss journey.

Thank you for visiting my page!