I'll start by saying this is the most honest and blunt blog I've ever written. Please know I've been going through alot these past 6 months, and I've grown and changed. And it's made me realize some things and confront things I've never confronted before. It's made me a bloody emotional rollercoaster, but I know it's all worth it. In the end I will be a better ME.
I've made a very tough but very thought out decision. Those close to me already know, but there are those of you in cyber land that I hardly see, but I wanted to include in my life. Even though we hardly speak, please know that I love you all and you have ALL helped make me the person I am today. And I hope anyone who reads this knows that when I say thank you, I TRULY mean that.
I have decided to have the Realize Lap-Band surgery. How have I come to this decision? Is this a last resort? How will my relationships change with those I love?
I've been asking myself these things for the past 2 weeks. And you know what? I'm not going to worry about things I cannot control anymore. Now I'm going to worry and focus on things that are in my control (ie: weight).
Some of you that know me will think I'm taking the 'easy' way out, some of you will applaud my decision. Either way, I must keep telling myself this is MY decision and bottom line, everyone will have a thought or opinion on it.
How did I come to this you may ask? I've been dieting since I was 13. I've done Weight Watchers, Atkins, Diet pills (including Phen-Fen)' you name it. And every time I do have some success, but as soon as I go off whatever diet I may be on I gain that weight back, and sometimes more. And to be frank, I'm f-ing TIRED of it. So, I wanted to do some research, and educate myself on a tool that may truly help me. And I've found it!
Sure, I have fears about this surgery. But my fears of continuing down my unhealthy, obese road VASTLY outweigh the 'risks' of me having this surgery. I am absolutely terrified of dying young. I'm even more terrified of having a child and leaving them without a parent. I'm tired of having sleep apnea and high blood pressure. The thing is, I'm TIRED of being unhealthy.
This surgery is by no means a 'cure' or an easy way 'out' for me. I will have to do alot of dietary changes, as well as do more exercise. This surgery will simply give me a tool to help feel more full and more satisfied. And the best part? I will have an amazing group of support from my family, friends and the doctors that I'm going to work with.
So how have I 'chosen' the Realize Lap-Band? It's quite simple really. They have an amazing 3 year support system for those who have the surgery. And that is something I need. Yes, my friends and family are going to be there, but this will give me medical tools and access to my dietician and doctors whenever I need. That will be a key ingredient in my weight loss.
I can't have the surgery until after the first of the year, and I'm shooting for a January 17th date, that way I can recoup over the 'long' holiday weekend.
For those that would like 'updates' on this journey please let me know. I'll be happy to regularly post blogs as I continue this.
So to end this blog, I'll conclude with my new 'motto':
'Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game...'
It's time for Maggie to make her OWN rules