'Twas the night before Maggie's surgery, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!!! Hehe
I'm oddly calm tonight. I thought I'd be super anxious or nervous, but I'm not. I feel at such peace. I think it's because I know that tomorrow, for the first time in my adult life, I'm putting ME first. With all my planning and waiting for tomorrow to come, I've realized quite a bit about my life lately.
The first, and most amazing thing is that EVERY goal I've set for myself (life goal) in the past 5 years, I've accomplished. And once I've set the goal and started working towards it, everything else just seemed to fall into place. Now I'm not saying it was an 'easy' road, but it was very worthwhile once I made a decision. Once I set the goal, I gave myself and inner 'clock' and timetable to achieve that goal. Surprisingly, I've met both of them thus far.
See, I'm a keen believe in the power of '3'. Why? I have no clue, but it's always been my favorite number, and I've always believed that everything happens in '3s'.
So now on to my first two goals I've set and achieved:
The first goal is graduating College. I was kicked out and Reinstated immediately (which was a miracle in itself!!), and once I was, I promised myself then and there I'd finish up in less than 3 years and that I'd get my degree. I achieved both.
The second major goal was paying off my stupid, STUPID College credit card debt, and then buying myself a new car. Again, I gave myself 3 years to do so. And I did.
Lastly (as if you didn't know by now), my third and ultimate goal is to get fit!
This brings me to my surgery tomorrow. To achieve this goal, I need a tool to help me. It's not going to make my 'head hunger' stop, nor will it magically 'cure' my food addiction. What it will do, if I use it properly, is make me eat less and choose better foods. See once you get on the 'bandwagon' there's certain things that may be difficult, if not impossible to eat. Now I know what these foods are, and I've mourned them. I will try to eat these foods when I'm allowed solid foods, and if I can eat them, great. I'll eat them in MODERATION. If I can't, then I will get over it!
January 14, 2009 I'm considering a 'rebirth' of sorts. It's going to be the birth of a new healthier, happier Maggie. And I'm giving myself 3 years to get to my goal/happy weight. I'm not sure what that may be, but that's half the fun of it. I know the doctor wants me to lose at least 110lbs, and anything over that is MY goal.
So I'm going to just go with the flow, and once I get to my doctors goal, then I'll set MY goal (I'm thinking now it's 170, but who knows). If I'm happy and healthy at 190 I may stay there!!
To all my friends and family who've given me so much positivity and support in these past few months, THANK YOU. I love you all so, so much. And you have no idea how amazing your support and love is. Without it I would not be who I am today. Once I'm walking around and not completely stoned off pain meds I'll get on here and blog about my post op experience.
Until then ciao!!!xoxo